beauty pageants

Did you know that the Miss America pageant has never actually been won by a woman of that name?  Almost doesn’t seem fair.

My favorite part of beauty pageants is the swimsuit portion, but not for the reason you think, alright?  I just think it’s the hottest part.

An apt version of the Miss America pageant would have homesick American emigrants as contestants.

I actually know the dude that Miss Congeniality 2 was based on.

There’s not much difference between sexist and sexiest.  The difference, apparently, is ecstasy.